we have officially lost it.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
