you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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