Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
