he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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