Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
