don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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