with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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