at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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