dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
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He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
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There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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