Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize