Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
