Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
