New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
