So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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