she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
