help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
