Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
