help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
