Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
