he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize