You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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