I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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