i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
