My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
