no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
