butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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