so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
