Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
