that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
