After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize