we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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