i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
