I think I died a long time ago.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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