But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
