You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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