worst night to have a conscience
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
