so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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