Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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