I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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