I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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