How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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