ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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