I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
