Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize