yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
