Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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