haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
