He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
