I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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