am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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