I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
