i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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