So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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