I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
