what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My pussy is not your playground.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
