Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
