he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
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We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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