if only i could text you this smell
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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