So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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