Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
