You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
