i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
